Flare Of My Existence
by Lucinda Kagamine
Summary: Lost in nightmares awaken at horrid thoughts. Keep going before you die out.


I'm back not that anyone noticed I was gone. But I'm here to bring you

Vocaloid and Hetalia once again. Enjoy the Short story/Song fic. The song is Flare by Lily

_'There's something in my head.'_

I stumble out of bed ready to greet a new day. However I am only welcomed by the light of night.

I'm not pleased how many days has it been. That I have woken up from the sounds. That do not exist at the place I am standing.

They are most certainly not pleasant sounds either. The screams and cries of my people that fall in battle. Or are victimised with brutality for no reason at all. No matter how frightening it is.

The sounds are played out as something not to be afraid of.

_'Like feathers fluttering around.'_

In addition a long echo that follows it carrying along a voice. Same tone different thoughts that flow through. "You don't care for these people." "Who are you to worry about these deaths."

"You are China not one person but many." "These people are pawns in a game of shogi."

"They can be sacrificed one doesn't even scrape the surface of what you own."

This voice is annoying I am not sure. Which I would rather listen to the deaths of many. Or this voice that is actually my inner reasoning. It's cruel and horrid does not care for other people.

It is only set with one goal to survive. It is sad I am sad for having these thoughts.

Since this war began I have been having a lot of regrets. Not only that but just questions.

"Why does Kiku not want to be near me anymore?" "What did I do wrong?" I had only given him the best that I could. I'm tired of wracking my brain for answers. Well you could always just ask right?

No that is wrong he won't even look at me. Not without anger and disgust clouding his eyes.

To the point where if I stare any further. I'll get dragged in and drowned. I could never speak to someone I could not look in the face. That is about as good as giving up my pride. Although at this point I have little to none left. I actually find myself day by day wanting to surrender.

_'Being carried by some monotonous sound.'_

_'Forgive me if I don't want to dance anymore.'_

Stepping out into the back garden I inhale. And I am disgusted there is nothing remaining but the smell of blood,carnage,and sadness. I walk back indoors with no place left to go. Taking a look around I frown. I want to go back. Back to when my house was occupied by loving people. Who I gradually began to call my children. I loved them and adored every single one of them in my own way. Things were happy life was not bleak. And now there is nothing. I sigh treading myself to the bathroom.

If I take a bath will that help at all? I tend to question myself a lot these days. Because no matter what I do I'm just not sure anymore. What I wouldn't give to have those moments back even if they only lasted a short while.

I start removing my clothing and the pain seers through out my entire back. I collapse facing the wall. I was trying to hold it for support. However it was just not possible. Many things are not possible I began to notice. This wound shall remain as a scar that will never fade. And I am not sure what to think. However I peer over my shoulder facing the mirror behind me. When I look at it I feel just a small tinge of not quite happiness but something similar. A piece of Kiku will always be with me now. It doesn't matter if it's not his happiness. He still left me with something I guess I am grateful. Everyone else left without even saying goodbye. But I will not allow myself to be caught up in the past.

"You are China one is nothing you have many." The voice echoes from afar again. And I listen as I stand. That's right no turning back now.

_' Still I can't compare to anything else.'_

_'The feeling of just wanting to laugh again.'_

_'To this.'_

_'The only feeling I find special now is the feeling_

_I get from seeing these cuts.'_

_'So don't forget, don't you dare forget.'_

_'That I swear to keep moving forward.'_

There we go a simple oneshot something I haven't written in a while. Ok R&R Thanks for reading.


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